The Dehumanization of Amber Heard

Sincerely, someone who believes Amber Heard.

When I found out OJ Simpson died, I instantly thought of Nicole Brown Simpson. I thought about how many people don’t know how much abuse she suffered at the hands of OJ Simpson. When I saw a tweet about how he was featured in the “In Memoriam” segment at the BET Awards this past Sunday, I thought about her again.

Whenever a woman comes forward about being abused and people instantly find a reason to label her a liar, I think of Andrea Dworkin’s essay “In Memory of Nicole Brown Simpson,” specifically this part of her essay:

You won’t ever know the worst that happened to Nicole Brown Simpson in her marriage, because she is dead and cannot tell you. And if she were alive, remember, you wouldn’t believe her.

I want to think that if Nicole Brown Simpson’s murder happened today, there would be more conversations about domestic abuse and how powerful, abusive men never let their ex-wives truly be their ex-wives. I want to think that if she were alive, maybe she could have had more people on her side and there would be conversations about her being abused and how fearful she was for her life. Then I remember how Amber Heard was treated during the Amber Heard vs Johnny Depp trial in 2022, and I know there’s a high chance that this isn’t true.

In 2019, Depp filed a defamation lawsuit against his ex-wife Amber Heard claiming she “irreparably damaged his career” by writing an op-ed about feeling the wrath of coming forward about being domestically abused— in which Johnny Depp is not directly named— despite him having been in back-to-back box office flops before Heard published her op-ed.

This isn’t the only defamation lawsuit involving abuse allegations regarding Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s relationship. In 2020, Depp sued UK’s The Sun’s publisher for libel over a headline labeling him a “wife-beater.” Heard testified in the trial and made 14 allegations of abuse against Depp; Depp denied them all. A judge ruled him guilty of 12 of the 14 alleged incidents of domestic violence counts— stating that the 12 counts “proved to the civil standard” and that The Sun’s headline was “substantially true.”

But unlike in the UK, the US trail was publicized. The trial being publicized was a plus for Johnny Depp. The US trial was inescapable if you were on social media in 2022. It became the hot new topic to make social media content off of and was even joked about on SNL. During the highly publicized 2022 trial, Amber Heard was forced to relieve multiple traumatic and violent events on the stand. One incident that was highly discussed online—that has its own know your meme page — was Amber Heard getting emotional while talking about her dog stepping on a bee. For more context, according to Heard, while on a trip with Depp and friends, Depp accused her of stealing drugs while high and conducted a cavity search on her. The next day, her dog stepped on a bee, and she had to take him to the vet. People, including Doja Cat, turned this into a meme. 

This is one of many violent incidents Heard discussed on the stand, which were then dismissed as lies. When she cried, she was accused of faking her emotions for sympathy by so-called “body language experts.” When Heard's supporters pointed out there was video evidence of him being drunk and violent, she was accused of being a real-life Amy Dunne from the film Gone Girl and setting Depp up. When she tearfully recounted being sexually assaulted with a liquor bottle, people accused her of lying. When she wiped her nose after crying, she was accused of doing coke on the stand. No evidence was enough to get Depp supporters to believe her. Nothing could be said to make people stop dehumanizing her.

The popular sentiment online was, and sadly continues to be, that Heard was lying and was the one who abused Johnny Depp; If you didn’t believe that she was lying it’s because Depp is a man and people tend to not believe or support male victims of abuse. Dehumanizing Amber Heard was the trend of 2022, with many willingly throwing virtual tomatoes at her— including celebrities such asPerrie Edwards, Kat Dennings, and many more, who chose to not only side with Depp, but like posts mocking her. The following hashtags were, and still are, used to do so: #JusticeforJohnnyDepp, #JohnnyDeppIsInnocent, #AmberHeardIsALiar, and #AmberTurd. The videos below pop up when you search “Amber Heard vs Johnny Depp trial” on YouTube.

Screenshot from searching “Amber Heard vs Johnny Depp” on YouTube

Screenshot from searching “Amber Heard vs Johnny Depp” on YouTube

People who tried to defend Amber Heard and provide proof of why people shouldn’t blindly support Depp were doxed, sent hate, and accused of being an abuser apologist or someone who doesn’t believe male victims. People were outside the courtroom holding “Justice for Johnny Depp” signs without pushback because being on Heard’s side was treated as wrong. I hate to talk about a case of a woman being abused, coming forward about it, and being viciously attacked because of it as “being on her side”, but that’s what social media turned it into: Amber Heard (bad side) vs Depp (good side). 

Depp supporters inside and outside the courtroom

Even people who weren't on Depp's side often said, “They’re both bad” or “They’re mutually abusive.” According to most experts in domestic violence, mutual abuse is a myth because abuse involves an imbalance of power and it’s impossible for two partners to have the same amount of power. In an abusive relationship, there is the one with the most power who controls, shames, and blames the victim and another who has less power and may react to the abuse, but that is considered self-defense and doesn’t make someone an abuser. Amber Heard is not a “perfect victim” because no woman who fights their abuser back will ever be considered a perfect victim.

As a child, I thought it was strange how in school the rule was if someone were to hit you and you hit them back, you'd both be in trouble and suspended from school. I didn't understand how that wouldn’t be considered self-defense. I didn't understand how accepting being violated was the right way to react to being hit by someone. This logic that hitting someone back makes you the wrong one doesn’t change when someone becomes an adult: it’s transformed into a way to shame people for not being the perfect victim. We are meant to trust law informants, tell a friend–do anything but fight back.

Amber Heard defended herself and admitted to striking Depp before in self-defense, therefore, according to much of the public, she was wrong. A real woman would never hit back. She would do the right thing and let him hit her and hope it would not cause permanent damage. She would trust law enforcement to take over. She would die at the hands of her abuser and be mourned for being a victim of abuse. Anything but defend herself. But Amber Heard defended herself– and has been hated ever since her abuse became public knowledge. She’s been hated since she showed the public another side of Depp, one they refuse to accept.

After his victory, Depp fans paid to get unsealed documents from his defamation trial which revealed that Depp tried to have nude pictures of her used as evidence to maliciously prove she was at one time an escort. One piece of evidence that was admitted in the UK case but not the US case was text messages between Johnny Depp’s ex-assistant, Stephen Deuters, Amber Heard, and Johnny Depp about an alleged violent incident in which Depp kicked Heard while aboard a private jet. In the text to Heard after the incident, Deuters said, “If someone was truly honest with him about how bad it really was, he would be appalled. I’m sad he does not have a better way to really know the severity of his actions yesterday. Unfortunately for me, I remember them in full, in full detail, everything that happened. He was appalled, when I told him he kicked you, he cried.” Depp also texted Heard stating, “Once again, I find myself in a place of shame and regret. Of course I am sorry…I will never do it again…My illness somehow crept up and grabbed me…I feel so bad for letting you down.” Despite this, believing Amber Heard is something that is still treated as erroneous.

Despite her losing the 2022 case and allegedly having her role reduced in Aquaman 2— the dehumanization of Amber Heard will not end. Despite Heard moving from California to Spain to live a private life raising her daughter that she wouldn't have been afforded if she stayed in the United States, she is still mocked online. Despite having the support of many of his peers, including Rihanna, who cast Depp in her 2022 Savage X Fenty show, people still seem to not be satisfied and continue to bash Heard. Despite the MeToo movement showing us how many abusive men thrive in Hollywood, people still labeled Amber Heard a liar. 

Why did people side with Depp so easily? Was it the bad boy rockstar cool actor image? Was it because they loved him and Winona together? Was it because they loved him playing a silly pirate in a beloved franchise?

Perhaps it’s because, deep down, they have always viewed women as untrustworthy temptresses – either unknowingly or knowingly. Heard met Depp while co-starring opposite of him on The Rum Diary when she was 25 and he was 48. Beautiful, bisexual, and young Amber Heard must have tempted well-known movie star Johnny Depp and made him treat her that way. Or perhaps their hatred of women was never deep down. It was always there, right at the surface. It was released little by little every time they called a woman a bitch or labeled her too emotional. It was there every time a woman reacted to something a man did, and had her anger dismissed. And this hatred spilled over when the trial started.

There’s a widespread belief that you can force a man to become a monster by not behaving correctly. If you dress provocatively, you can’t act surprised if you're assaulted–the rhetoric goes. People will say, “We shouldn’t support women because they’re women '' as if unconditional support for women exists — it doesn't, and never has. People do not side with female victims of abuse no matter how much they pretend to. People don’t understand how abusers use manipulative [DARVO] (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) tactics to shift blame onto the victims and make them believe they are responsible for the abuse. People don’t get how abusers use the court to keep abusing their exes. Sadly, some did know all this and still believed that Heard was the perpetrator, and Depp was the victim.

Even now as we are starting to have more conversations about how Amber Heard was treated, people are still making excuses about why this misogynistic smear campaign was so successful. “We were manipulated by the media!” or “Amber Heard wasn’t likable!”. Anything except for the truth— too many people don’t believe female victims of abuse (or women in general) as much as they think, no matter how much of a self-proclaimed feminist they claim to be.

More often than not, people are feminists in an “I’m a girl’s girl” way, which has just become a basic way to say you support women. You can viciously attack any woman you deem “annoying” as long as you are a self-proclaimed “girl’s girl”. For many, being a “girl's girl” means you defend women who you deem as “cool, good, and nice” while regularly dehumanizing women who you deem cringe. There's nothing people love more than attacking some woman they've decided deserves public ridicule, and now people have social media to help them join others to do so.

If I come across as angry, I am. I’m pissed, sad, tired, but mainly— I’m heartbroken for Amber Heard. I believe her when she says Johnny Depp abused her. I don’t believe she “set Depp up.” I don’t need therapist notes, video proof, or anything; I believe Amber Heard.

I truly hope Amber Heard will be given another chance to be the actress she was before she became the victim of a misogynistic smear campaign. But the sad truth is, there's a chance that won't happen. I know how social media works. People will say they will change and learn from past mistreatment of female celebrities then attack the next annoying woman online. There's nothing worse to people than a woman being unlikeable. Trends are built on it. Careers are ruined because of it. It’s going to take more than people calling themselves “girls’ girls” – instead, unlearning misogyny that has been ingrained in them since birth.

Until then, I’ll wait for more people to wake up and realize that they participated in a misogynistic smear campaign that began because a woman came forward about being abused. I’ll try my best to combat misinformation being spread online about whoever the female victim of the day is. And I’ll keep holding on to hope that one day people will do more research before happily participating in dehumanizing someone.